Save My Life

By: ccatlas Mood: other Date: 06/19/2008 11:23:57 Music: None

I have no friends on this site or anywhere else for that matter.  I am a 52 year old woman who has really never lived a day in her life.  I have been unsuccessful in figuring out what it is I want and if I get a glimmer of something, the effort it takes to even compose something small like this email seems not worth it.  I feel like I have been a walking corpse my whole life.  I feel despair because I know that I have been given gifts which have not been used in the least little bit, but my whole life's focus has been getting revenge on the family who hurt me over and over again.  I have not gotten revenge - and, as you say, all my negative feelings have only come back to myself 10 fold.

I put a prayer out to the universe with this note that if an opportunity came of it, that I would take a risk and jump for it.  My mental, emotional and spiritual life is at stake.  I have wasted my entire life, but only know a couple of things right now.

I want health and want to find my vocation.  I want to be happy.  I want to be loved and to love someone else with all my heart.  I want beauty, joy and peace.  But most of all, I want my family to know how much they hurt me and to make up for it.

If anyone can help with any of this message, I am here.  As bitter and hopeless as I sound, I am sure you are not eager, but still, I am here.

Cindy

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